BORING

Oh boy,  I don't know if I'll ever get any better a bout blogging more often -__-. I always intend to, but then life just gets so busy and stress levels sky rocket and fun, cathartic, relaxing, etc. things just get tossed out the window. I get caught up in the mountains of Chinese homework the constant stream of Spanish work and the interspersed assignments from other classes. This week in particular has been extremely hectic. With three quizzes, two essays, three other long and extremely difficult homework assignments, 16 and a half hours of work, 50 pages of reading for various classes, a 40 minute commute twice each day, and a court trial, this week has been a tad overwhelming to say the least. Now before you look at that list and think I'm some kind of super hero for pulling it all off (with less than 20 hours sleep total the whole week), I didn't. One short essay, one quiz, and two extremely long difficult assignments got skipped over. They were skipped largely due to lack of time and the hindrance of sleep deprivation, but in addition I got sick; again. I had been fighting getting sick with a fair amount of success for a week prior to this one, but when you're trying to fight sickness sleep is a necessity. I already told you that for the week so far I have gotten less than 20 hours of sleep total, so it's no surprise that yesterday morning I woke up to find that the looming sickness had finally caught up with and bested my immune system (which if you ask me is not hard to do, my immune system needs to man-up). So being in the state that I was -- now sick and still suffering from sleep deprivation to the point where just being awake, without doing ANYTHING in addition to being conscious, hurt; my eyes hurt, my head throbbed and my whole body rebelled in effort to send me back to sleep -- I decided that all that I simply wasn't capable of fighting against all that or finishing all the assignments I mentioned above, let alone driving safely to and from Riverside, so I chose to stay home. I emailed all my teachers and then went to the doctor. I'm now on yet another round of antibiotics for yet another sinus infection. I get one every few months at least, and often they just don't go away, even with the medications. You can see why earlier I said my immune system needs to man up. I'm not sure why I get these infections so often. I'm sure it relates to my countless allergies, but even still you'd think at some point my body would figure out a way to STOP getting the same illness over and over and over. But anyway, when I went to the doctor I got the medication for my sinus infection and while there asked my doctor about a separate question of health. In response to my question she said that we'd need to do a lab -___- to determine what the cause behind the symptom is. I might have anemia or a thyroid condition and the only way to find out is by jabbing a giant needle into my arm and stealing several vials of my blood just like the time they thought I had Leukemia (it turned out to be simple growing pains -__-). I am terrified of needles, it's an irrational fear, I know that shots shouldn't be any big deal. "It's just a little pinch" they always say, and I know that it's not worth freaking out about, but I can't help it. I still cry most of the time, and the last time I had to get my blood drawn I literally RAN; they caught me. It makes me so mad and also pretty embarrassed that I'm afraid of needles and all that comes with that; I used to play water polo, I took beatings every day back then, and I can still take a punch without flinching and I even box (no gloves) with some of my guy friends. I longboard and have fallen a couple times, I have gotten and get bruises, cuts, scratches, abrasions, and all other manners of injury without an issue, without crying, and when necessary can grit my teeth and willingly cause the self-inflicted pain required to fix whatever the problem happened to be at the time. I have a high threshold for pain and generally consider myself to be pretty darn tough, but when it comes to needles I cower like a child. I can't stand it. So when the time comes to get this blood work done, I am just going to do my best to think about it in terms or a temporary and necessary pain and grit my teeth and try to bear the way I would anything else, but as previously mentioned, this fear is irrational, so no guarantees as to how well this will work. In any case I will still definitely bring my mom with me (like a child) for comfort and for an hand to crush while I freak out. Hopefully this time I don't freak out quite as much though, and I know it will already be somewhat better because I won't let myself run away this time. Well wish me luck on that front please folks.

Also, I forgot to mention how my court trial went today. About 40 people's cases were dismissed due to their officer not showing up or other reasons, and there were only about 60 cases to start with that morning, so at least two thirds of the cases were dismissed before the trials began... I was not one of those lucky people however. I stood at the defendant's microphone and "cross-examined" my police officer/prosecutor, and then was found guilty. Sad face. I would be at peace with the decision except for one thing. I got flustered on the stand (my police officer was really intimidating, even in court he had an attitude) and forgot to do the one MAIN thing the attorney I consulted with told me was my only chance. I did ask the officer questions about his training and the service of his Lidar gunn (similar to a radar gun) just like I was supposed to, but then when he answered all my questions I forgot to ask him if he had the documents to prove his statements like I was supposed to. I had it written in my notes at least a half dozen times to ask to see the written documentation for all matters regarding the evidence, but I got so flustered I forgot and didn't even look down at my notes in front of me. I didn't even realize that I forgot that key step until I after I was already back out in the parking lot. I'm really frustrated with myself especially after writing that in my notes so many times. I guess it doesn't matter that much since what's done is done, but it still bugs me some, at least if he DID have all that paper work and had shown it to me I would know for sure that I had no chance of winning. Well anyway, if I'm ever in court again I hope to do a better job. I'm now on campus waiting for my class to start, in less than a half hour, and then I have work until 6:30 this evening which I'm not looking forward to. 

In other more positive news, my boyfriend Max and I just celebrated our ten month anniversary this week. It wasn't much of a celebration due to all the homework and stress that we were each dealing with, but he did make delicious hot fudge sauce from scratch which we had over tasty ice cream before continuing with our studies for that day. His grandma's an amazing cook! (and artist) She and Max have this deal where she sends Max one recipe every week and he has to make it (he likes to cook and always wants to try new recipes which is AWESOME cuz I love to eat ^_^). So far all the recipes Max's grandma has sent him have been super tasty and I'm really excited for next week's installment. 

Okay, now I should go. I need to return the laptop (my school loans out laptops to students for two hours at a time- free) and start walking to class, and I'd like to enjoy the day on the way as opposed to rushing at the last minute. I left my longboard today because it was really windy when I got here which makes boarding a drag, and also so that I wouldn't have to deal with how cumbersome it can be especially since I'll probably be getting a campus safety escort back to my car tonight (Max is outta town) and they are always on foot, so I'd have to carry it all the way back to my car after work anyway. Okay, well I will try to write something again soon, but no promises, because next week is midterms so I am still VERY busy and stressed despite my temporary respite. 

Adios amigos! 

Chelsea