FREEDOM!!!

Somehow this post got replaced by a copy of "Family of 5 Becomes 7" :(
I don't know how it happened, but I'm seriously disappointed to have lost the post. I feel a loss and I can't fix it... the post is gone and there's nothing I can do about it as far as I know. This post was originally about my grades and how my mom had been understanding about them and given me a kind of freedom from failing her by commenting on a short coming of the school instead of reacting directly to my less than perfect grade. I forget what else the post was about, maybe finding a job... but anyway that's what the title refers to. The post itself is now gone forever though :(

Alright so for the big news:

EXTREMELY long story, short I'm going to Utah tomorrow to pick up my two new sisters!

Yes you heard correctly, TWO NEW SISTERS O_O!!! My family is getting custody of and eventually adopting two of my cousins. One is 8 almost 9 years old and the other sister is (Are you ready for this?) a NEWBORN!!!! I, Chelsea Shotts, now 19 years old will have a 3 month old sister in a matter of days. That will be and has already been a HUGE change for us. We've had to baby proof the house, and there is a crib, and baby clothes, diapers, pacifiers, bottles, etc throughout our house ready for the new arrival. & I mention the newborn (her name is Janey) first, because of the drastic age difference, but my cousin Katelynn will be no small addition either. She is ten years younger than me and will be sharing a room with my sister when she gets here... that's where I used to live haha. Now guess where I live? Woohoo! My "day room;" it's finally gonna be my room room lol. I get to sleep out there and everything. My own space separate from the main house where I can get away from the madness sometimes :)

But because all this shifting had to take place there's been a TON of work to do. We had to ready the house for a CPS inspection (boy was that scary!) in only 24 hours o_O. We had to baby proof the house, lock up all medications (our house has TONS of those), buy a crib, set up the crib, move my stuff outta the house and into my day room, move my sisters drums outta her room, move half of my brothers closet out so that I could keep some clothes in the house, clean the whole house, move all the packing stuff (we've been slowly getting ready to move) out of the house, and SO much more, in only 24 hours! It was crazy. She had a few nit picky things she wanted addressed so we've done those and she'll be back to check on the changes Monday. My mom and I are going to Utah bright and early tomorrow; there's one more court hearing on Tuesday and then I will officially have 4 siblings! 

I really hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible for all of us. The only one who will really have an easy transition is the newborn, her mind is still too young to know of the drama going on around her and she won't know what vast differences will be made for her life. But Katelynn is 8, she has lived through more than a little girl should ever have to and is the strongest little girl I've ever met. She's had to be. Sometimes the wisdom behind her eyes and her words just blows my mind. She has grown up with very few rules so far and yet far too many responsibilities. We hope to balance that out in her life; relieve her of her role as pseudo-mother, and set down the guidelines that both my siblings and I have been raised under. I just hope she doesn't rebel too much against them. Another worry I have, is that she has this idea in her head that our family and California are some sort of paradise. She thinks my family is really fun and nice, (and that everyone here in California is a surfer lol) which is true, we do have fun, and we are nice, but, I'm worried she might not understand that it's not ALWAYS like that. We won't be ready to play 24/7 and sometimes we'll get cranky, I fear that if she isn't prepared for that, the sudden disillusionment might upset her quite a bit and she is a STRONG willed little girl. I have no doubt that there will be many power struggles ahead, and that's not because she's a bad kid, because she isn't and it's not because we're bad people because we aren't, it'll just be a big adjustment with vast layers beyond what I'm sure she's thinking about right now. Right now we are the heroes taking her to her new perfect life in The Golden State where everyone surfs and the beach is practically in the backyard, but how can we live up to such an expectation? She will have to understand that no family is perfect and we are trying our best.

I also worry that I will fail them. I know I will let Katelynn down, I already have as her cousin, she wants to play games ALL the time, and much of the time I have other things I have to do. She takes it as a personal offense if you have to wash the dishes instead of playing chutes and ladders with her. I don't want to disappoint her; I really want her to be as happy as possible here. I worry that I will fail. I also worry that I will be selfish. What if I get jealous? I think it is well within the realm of possibility for me to end up saying something like, ..she's MY mom!... or ..how dare you say that to my mother..., or ...my *real* sister... What if I make distinctions between them and my family? That would be hurtful. Lord grant me the ability to be above that; give me a bigger heart and more love to completely accept them as my sisters instead of my cousins who live with me. 

Worry isn't productive, profitable, or in any way beneficial, but I think my concerns are legitimate. God will have to help us all immensely in this process, because it is no small change for any of us (except as mentioned previously, the baby haha)

I love my cousins dearly, and can't wait to make them a part of our family. 

I'm getting two new sisters for Christmas, what are you getting? ;P
July 29, 2011... wow looking back at this post, so many things didn't go as planned. I didn't get two new sisters for Christmas unfortunately, I only got one. But we did get the baby several months later, and both girls have been happily living with us for months now. I didn't get to live out in my day room afterall -__- cuz my dad didn't think I'd be safe out there. So instead I slept on the floor in my brother's room, or on the couch for 2-3 months. But anyway, things worked out and we have a big huge house where everyone has plenty of space now, and things are going well.