Rawrms :/

Sometimes I get frustrated.... communication breaks down, so much is misunderstood, even allies torpedo your chances of coping at times....

On my own I am content, I love my life, I love God, I feel that I am stable, I have my issues, (don't we all?) but I get through them with His help. But add other people to the equation, and there's problems... lots of them.

Am I a failed communicator? I talk all the time. Something's not working, something's wrong, people don't understand where I'm coming from, often things are projected on me that I don't feel, I need to be better. I need to make people know, need to convey what's inside better.

Ugh, I need to figure out how to fit again, I need to learn how to be part of this team again. This will be a difficult road. How do I make what's become independent return to a leashed, repressed role of submission and subordination? *It* feels that *it* is capable of standing alone, in fact *it* has had the chance to demonstrate *its* ability; *it* doesn't want to be reigned back in, *it's* fighting me, *it* wants back what *it* had for a fleeting time; *it* doesn't understand that this is a necessity, that *it* NEEDS to go back in the box and keep dormant until the point where my finances are sufficient to support and sustain *it* for the long haul. *It* needs to behave, to stop protesting and just get back in the box.

Ya... well anyway. This day will end soon and tomorrow will hopefully be better.

Laterz